When you first start dating a woman and it's going well, the world is a beautiful place. The two of you are on your best behavior and each of you is working hard to impress the other, trying to make this exclusive relationship sizzle.
But after a while, you start to get comfortable with each other. You get complacent. Sloppy. You take each other for granted. And all of a sudden, you're noticing little quirks in her behavior that weren't so apparent before. Note that you didn't act differently to cause this behavior.
Although no woman is perfect, all of a sudden she seems to have changed, and not for the better. Now that sweet little girl you were dating seems like a charade and she's exhibiting some nasty negative traits, which you're not quite sure how to deal with.
Which traits?Let's take a look at a few of the ones you could be facing:
1.She loves to nag
Every time she opens her mouth, it's to say something like "I told you...", "Why can't you...", "Why do you always..." Nothing suits her anymore, and everything you do is wrong. She constantly blames you and criticizes you for all sorts of shortcomings, including not being able to read her mind.
The problem is, women can't communicate, so they nag and whine about what they aren't getting rather than directly stating what they want, need or expect. Men hate to be nagged -- it's a female strategy that simply doesn't work. Most guys respond to nagging in two ways: either they wimp out with a "Yes, dear," or they simply ignore their partner and avoid her altogether.
Neither of these solutions is effective.
How to deal with it: Giving in to her demands will just turn you into a whipped puppy dog, and avoiding the situation is like putting a bandage on a cancer and will cause her to dial up the nagging machine even more.
Pick your battles, and more importantly, tell her to pick hers. Don't give in and walk away in silence if you have to.
Put your foot down. Tell her that her nagging and criticizing bother you and you're not going to put up with it anymore. Ask her to communicate her needs directly. If she wants you to take out the trash, just say so -- not, "You have no respect for me as a person" (from which you're supposed to divine that she wants you to take out the trash).
2.She's extremely jealous
Women are obsessively insecure. This is especially true when it comes to men, because females know exactly how other females operate and they know from experience how easy it is to seduce men with pouty lips and nice breasts (this is how your girlfriend got you, after all). So they're constantly vigilant about protecting their territory, eternally imagining that some woman with a bigger chest will turn your head and lure you away.
A jealous woman will just assume that you're lusting after other women, even when you're not. She'll spend enormous energy testing you. If you go out with your friends for a beer, she "knows" that you're really meeting a woman (and she might even "accidentally" show up to check up on you). If you're late coming home, it's because you're having an affair. If you have platonic female friends, you just have to be sleeping with them.
How to deal with it: Jealous women can make your life miserable, so you have to take charge of the situation as soon as it rears its ugly head. When your woman's eyes glow green, tell her to grow up and knock it off. Ask her if she finds certain guys attractive, and if she's thinking of sleeping with them. Tell her not to push these same thoughts onto you.
Another idea is to invite her to come along with you when you meet your buddies. Have her make friends with your female pals. If these tactics don't work, this would be the time to tell her that if she can't learn to trust you, then you'll have to leave.
3.She's moody
Just like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, women are unpredictable. That's all there is to it. One minute they're kissing you and telling you how happy they are, and the next they're crying about some remark they remember you making a year ago (about which you have no recollection whatsoever). The female brain is driven by hormones -- women think with their emotions. Maybe it all makes sense to them, but their irrational behavior just leaves men frustrated, bewildered and annoyed.
Granted, women have a monthly cycle which sends them spinning up to dizzying heights and plummeting to abysmal lows, but PMS can't be an excuse for all outright rude or bizarre behavior -- it's one thing to be cranky and quite another to be a raving bitch or psychotic.
How to deal with it: While you certainly can't change Mother Nature, it's still fair to ask your woman to recognize and adjust her behavior -- she may not be aware of how irrational or unpleasant she becomes. Don't provoke her by bringing up the fact that she forgot to pick up the groceries, for example.
Let it pass and go for a walk. There's nothing wrong with absenting yourself if she's really experiencing emotional turmoil. If she's having personal problems, simply listen. Don't provide any advice if she doesn't want it, and don't try to find a solution.
But never, ever tolerate outright abuse. There's no excuse for blaming, venting and screaming.
4.She's a serial flirt
You're out with your girlfriend and she's working the room, talking to every guy in sight. She won't step foot out of the house without wearing a low-cut, form-fitting dress. And any time she goes anywhere, she comes back with a fistful of guys' business cards.
She's a serial flirt -- she'll bat her eyes and wiggle her hips at every man in sight, even though she has absolutely no intention of entering into a romantic relationship with any of them. What she likes is the attention -- she has low self-esteem and needs ongoing proof that she's still attractive to the opposite sex.
Of course, when you're out with her and she's winking at some other guy, you feel like a fool, but she doesn't care -- she's busy getting off on her ego-boost.
How to deal with it: This is another case where you have to put your foot down early. Tell her that if she wants to be with you, then you should be the focus of her attention -- not every other guy in the room. If you don't accept the fact that she's the touchy-feely type, tell her that there's just no excuse. If she can't or won't do anything about it, then send her packing.
5.She's smothering
She just won't leave you alone. She calls you 20 times a day, shows up at your doorstep, sends you cards, constantly asks you what you're feeling and where the relationship is going -- in other words, she's suffocating you.
Every time you turn around, she's underfoot. Your male stuff is long gone -- now she expects you to do "girly things" and be entirely happy with her leech-like behavior because, "We're a couple."
No guy can stand this. Men have to be free to be men, not spend all their off-hours going to antique fairs or shopping at the fabric store. Guys need space -- male space.
How to deal with it: Cut this one off at the pass right away. Explain to her that successful couples don't need to be with each other all the time, that absence makes the heart grow fonder. A lot of absence.
Help her meet people and make new friends. Introduce her to your friends' girlfriends, so that they can hang out. You can even double date with other couples to help move things along. Encourage her to plan activities for herself and become interested in a hobby.
6.She doesn't want to have sex
At the beginning of your relationship, your girlfriend was all over you like a wildcat in heat. But now the only time she wants sex is when she has something to gain from you -- she's using access to her body as a bargaining chip to get what she wants.
Women just don't have the same sex drive as men, and they seem to have the ability to turn it off and on at will -- this is why it's so easy for them to use sex as a tool.
But sexuality is a fundamentally important ingredient in a successful relationship -- especially for men.
How to deal with it: Her behavior should not be tolerated. You have every right to demand sex (and good sex) from her, especially if she's forcing you to finance her entire social life. To help your sexual life, make sex romantic. Satisfy her, pamper her, and make it all about her. Agree to the kind and amount of sex you want to have. Discuss what you want with her.
If she doesn't want to have sex with you, then leave her in the dust and find somebody who does.
put your foot down
The key to healthy relationships is compromise. But if you're running into one-sided problems like these, you'd better find a way to turn things around because it'll only get worse.
If she's willing to change, great -- but if she won't budge, it's probably best to call it quits and look elsewhere.
How to Deal With Women's Negative Traits
